


last one down is an englishman

by everAcclimating



Category: Homestuck, Leverage
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Detectives, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hacking, Humanstuck, It's a Leverage AU, M/M, Other, Police, Rivalry, Sex, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, grifters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24174853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everAcclimating/pseuds/everAcclimating
Summary: (i was brought up as a southern belle, i grew up into the [king] of hell)it's homestuck characters in a leverage au. dirk runs a group of criminals that are dedicated to helping people that are laid low by The Man, be it a rich person, an insurance company, the cops, the entire government, it doesn't matter. they'll help you out when you need them the most.his big goal and nemesis is lord goddamn english.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Nepeta Leijon, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Roxy Lalonde/Latula Pyrope, Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	last one down is an englishman

**Author's Note:**

> i promise all the characters and pairings will show up, but this is only the prologue.

You start small. It's you and Jake and Dave and Roxy and Meenah early on: you work well together. You're the Mastermind, Jake's the Hitter, Dave's the Grifter, Roxy's the Hacker, and Meenah's the Thief. Then Jake brings in his cousin John and he's double trouble: his smile can make anyone believe every goddamn word he says, and he's the only person aside from Dave that really fully understands what the fuck you're talking about when you go off on a tangent about stealing something that can't possibly be actually stolen.

"Let's steal a democracy," you say one time, and Jake rolls his eyes while John snorts, casually miming putting a vote in a ballot box. You raise your eyebrows and he shrugs. Everyone else gets it after that. You'll deal with it.

He and Dave work well in tandem and it's like a dance where one of them starts a grift and the other finishes it like an old married couple finishing each other's sentences. They _portray_ a married couple more than once, including in a job where you have to steal a church.

You're a little envious, you will admit, even though you get along well with your younger brother and you get along well with John too. They just have a sort of connection that you've never felt with anyone and it's--obvious. You're not very good at socializing, and you turn inward with your problems even though you talk constantly. It's a coping mechanism.

You _all_ work together well, to be fair, though Meenah sometimes goes off the rails and needs to be reined in. You manage. Sometimes Jake just hoists her over a shoulder and carts her away, and that's enough. Sometimes John has to talk her down. You work it out.

You pour yourself into your work with a passion that's both metaphorically and literally criminal, and you do it well. You become well known as the criminals that will help anyone that needs it, no matter what it takes, and that's what you're counting on. Sometimes Jake pulls you away from work and makes you wind down and you need that. You need it so much. You've been best friends since you were kids, though you split ways in early adulthood and only came back together later. Later, after he'd been a Hitter for years and you were pulling him out of the gutter after Lord English spit him out.

Lord English does that to a lot of people. Lord English spit you out too.

This isn't about Lord English.

It's definitely about Lord English, who ruined your fucking life.

Anyway.

Today is important. Today you're helping a relative, a cousin who needs help, Roxy's sister—her wife is being wrongfully held under surveillance on a trumped up fake charge and it's going to be your job—all of your jobs—to get her the fuck out again.

You lay the plan out meticulously and once everyone is on board, even Rose, you sweep a hand toward the door and say, "let's go steal a wife."

John bursts out laughing as you pause and frown.

"That came out wrong. Let's go steal a prison."

He nods.

Better.


End file.
